


By The Water

by Tangerine



Category: X-Force (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Mexico
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 14:17:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14916947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tangerine/pseuds/Tangerine
Summary: Rictor brings Shatterstar to a very special place.





	By The Water

"Just a little further," Julio assures him, climbing over the rocks without hesitation, knapsack slung across his back. They’ve been walking for an hour in the hottest part of the day, and Shatterstar thinks the walk alone might have easily killed someone who isn’t used to the unforgiving heat of a climate like this. Mexico isn’t so different from Mojoworld in that regard.

Everything else is magnificently, terrifyingly different. 

These past few months have awakened something in him, something he can’t quite name. He wants to tell people just how profoundly he has changed, but he doesn’t think anyone will understand. Except Julio, of course. He’s never had a friend before, let alone a best one, and now he has both, and it is an intensely satisfying experience. He has even met Julio’s mother.

As Julio disappears down into a break in the rocks, he asks, "But we are still in Mexico?"

Low in his throat, Julio chuckles, eliciting a faint echo from the rocky cavern. How Julio ever found this place, Shatterstar will never know. "Yes, shut up. I told you this was a secret spot."

"No one would ever find our bodies."

Julio pauses mid-slide, looking up with a frown. "Dude, I still can’t even tell if you’re joking." 

"I am," Shatterstar assures him, beginning his own descent. "Mostly." 

"Stop trying to be funny. You’re distracting me."

Shatterstar grins, pausing to swipe at a few errant strands of hair on his damp forehead, braced between the rocks. Shatterstar has, in the past, dismissed teasing as an entirely pointless activity, but he cannot deny the warm feeling that curls in his belly whenever he uses it on Julio. 

"Are we lost?"

"Zip it," Julio warns, pushing his way through a weedy twist of bushes. Beyond the thorny mess comes a victorious, "I found it, oh ye of little faith. Get your fucking smug ass over here."

Shatterstar steps through the bramble, ignoring the scrap of the branches against his skin, and steps out into an oasis of clear water and vibrant flora. The pool is relatively small in diameter, but deep enough that the bottom disappears into a black abyss. 

"Admit it." Julio drags the bag off his shoulders, letting it drop to the ground in a puff of dust, then shrugs out of his sweat-soaked t-shirt. "It's awesome."

"It’s impressive."

Julio bends down to unlace his boots then yanks them off his feet, so impatient and unsteady that Shatterstar tenses, prepared to grab him if he takes an unexpected tumble into the water, but he regains his balance and begins to work on the zipper of his jeans, shoving them off into a heap.

Julio pauses a moment then removes his underwear before diving into the water.

Shatterstar only hesitates slightly before following the same pattern.

The water is surprisingly cool, but that could be the heatstroke clouding his judgment. He breaks the surface with his eyes open then he surprises himself by laughing for absolutely no reason at all. Julio grins at him, splashes at him a little, then ducks under the water again. 

_Is this it_ , he wonders, but he barely knows what _it_ is when it seems like everyone else does.

Like they've had their entire lives to figure it all out. 

Like they've been born knowing. 

Shatterstar doesn't actually know how old he is, probably younger than Julio in total years, but more mature physically, at least in certain ways. More hair on his face and body, even if he goes to great lengths to remove it, and taller, though Julio looks like he might someday come closer.

"Hey," Julio says, swimming up to him. His hair is a wild halo of wet tangles around his head. "Why so grim, dude? Lighten up. Want some beer? It should be nice and warm by now."

"Sure," Shatterstar says, watching as Julio lifts himself out of the water. His back ripples with the movement, droplets of water racing down his skin, disappearing at the base of his spine.

"Man, I used to spend hours here. Alone," Julio adds, like Shatterstar doesn't know that. They have been in Mexico for months, and Shatterstar has never actually met anybody who claims to be his _friend_. His mother, half-siblings, cousins, but no one who actually seems to _know_ him.

Shatterstar accepts the beer Julio hands down to him, careful not to look like he's staring. 

"After my father died," Julio says then trails off as he lowers himself back into the water. "I guess what I'm try to tell you is that this place is _mine_ , and I've never shown it to anybody before." 

Shatterstar bows his head. "I'm honoured."

They sip their beers in silence, shoulder to shoulder, and Shatterstar wonders if he is just supposed to ask. Because there is a very good chance Julio doesn't realise he wonders, too. Julio is such a private man, always guarded, like he fears nobody will like him if they really know him.

Shatterstar wants to know him better and wants Julio to _know_ him back. 

"Julio?"

"Hmm?"

"Nothing," he says quickly, suddenly deciding that he isn't supposed to ask at all. He drains his beer then slides under the surface of the water, using the rocky wall to push off. He glides on his back, long and graceful, stretching to his full height with his arms reaching high above his head.

This has to be _it_ , or something very close to _it_ anyway.

It has to be. 

Has to.

His knuckles scrape against rock, and he stops, surfacing with a gasp. 

Julio watches him from the other side of the pool, thoughtful, solemn, beautiful. 

Shatterstar lifts himself out to sit on the rocks, yanking the elastic from his hair then squeezing the water out with his hands. Knees parted, legs wide, daring Julio to look at all of him. As if that will tell Shatterstar something, when he really has no clue at all. How do humans _know_?

Why is this the one thing that he feels he can't ask Julio, when it has been the one thing Julio has offered? The emotional stuff. How to deal with it, and truly feel it, and though they have visited a dozen clubs with terrible music, Shatterstar hasn't managed to repeat what he felt the first time.

At least not in the way he thinks Julio needed him to at the time. But months have passed, and Shatterstar believes they both have different desires now, close to aligning. But so much of that is unspoken, and that's terrifying to him, but he thinks this must be _it_. What else could it be?

One of them has to be brave enough, but for once, Shatterstar's not sure it can be him. 

"We can go home if you're not enjoying this," Julio says. "I just thought we needed a break."

Home is a small bachelor apartment, with two cots on either side of the room and a small black and white television that they found on the side of the road. It is the most he has ever earned for himself, working odd jobs with Julio on the days when they aren't fighting his family. Julio's mother invited them to stay with her, but Julio adamantly refused. Shatterstar hadn't asked why. 

"That's not it," Shatterstar assures him, cautious of Julio's fragile ego. "I want to be here."

Julio frowns. "Then what is it?"

"Just thinking," he says then tries to smile a little. "I do not bother you when you are thinking."

"I don't know in what universe that's true," Julio replies with a laugh. 

Shatterstar smiles again, feels it sit unnaturally on his face. He wills Julio to come to him, to close the distance between them, then wonders, idly, if Julio is thinking the same thing. These negotiations are complicated. But every time he moves, Julio's eyes follow, dark and curious.

Julio's gaze drifts over him, his face, then lower, and lower still, before sweeping up again.

Shatterstar feels his cock start to harden and forces himself to sit there, waiting. 

_Wanting_. 

He feels raw and exposed, and Julio stays in the water, expression shuttered. After a while, it's unbearable. He stands up, which almost makes it worse, and climbs as high as he can go. Stays there for a moment, stretched out, fully revealed, then he dives into the water, as deep as he can go. 

When he emerges, he keeps his back to Julio. Under the water, he puts a hand on his erection. Wills it down, as if it's a way to take it back. Maybe he did misread the situation. It wouldn't be the first time. Or maybe Julio changed his mind. That's valid, too. He would never _make_ him. 

Makes him drink more water, watch better TV, exercise frequently, but never _this_. 

Julio places his hand on Shatterstar's back, startling him, then presses his face into his shoulder. 

"Turn around," Julio murmurs. 

Slowly, Shatterstar does, still holding himself. Julio looks at him, breath coming quick, then leans into him, lips parted, bracing his hands on the rocks at Shatterstar's shoulders. Julio kisses him fully on the mouth, just the slightest hint of tongue against his, before finally pulling back.

"Say something before I puke all over you," he says unsteadily.

"We are the same, Julio," Shatterstar assures him, bowing so their foreheads touch. Their breath comes in unison, harsh and frantic, and Shatterstar loosens the vice-grip on his own erection. He threads that hand through Julio's hair, the knots catching on his knuckles. "I just wasn't sure." 

Julio looks away briefly. "Will you hear if anybody else comes?"

"Of course," Shatterstar replies. "Why? Are we expecting someone else?"

"Star," Julio says flatly, looking down between them, and Shatterstar has to laugh at himself a little, because right, of course, this is _it_. Finally. Shatterstar isn't so obtuse that he doesn't understand that this _thing_ between them has happened before either of them are totally ready.

Julio leans into him again, one hand sliding intimately over Shatterstar's waist. And the kiss is longer, sensual, open and wet, and Shatterstar wishes he had practised, somehow, beyond all the images on a television screen that don't help as much as he hoped. But Julio stays with him, guides him, shows him how to kiss, and eventually, Shatterstar relaxes against him with a sigh.

"Follow me," Julio says eventually, pulling himself out of the water, naked and glistening. 

He's hard and not shy at all when Shatterstar stares up at him, breath caught in his chest. The look he gives Shatterstar is fond and a little sheepish, but when he holds out his hand, Shatterstar takes it and lets Julio guide him to the edge of the blankets, spread out over a sandy break in the rocks. There's a moment, soft and quiet, where they look at each, barely breathing. It stretches.

Shatterstar thinks about what _it_ means. All the things that will change. All the things that might not. He feels like he's standing at the edge of a cliff, considering jumping into the unknown, but it's an unfair comparison. Because he knows if Julio was with him, he would. Without hesitation. 

"Shit, I'm really nervous," Julio admits with a shaky laugh. "Are we actually doing this?"

"I want to more than anything," Shatterstar confesses, running a finger over Julio's naked belly.

The smile Julio gives him in return is brilliant and beautiful. Shatterstar follows him down onto the blanket, bending into him. They start with kisses again then move onto other things. He touches Julio, on his chest, his side, between his legs, and allows himself to be touched in return. He comes embarrassingly fast, with a surprised gasp, as Julio watches him, wide-eyed and awed. He laughs, breathless and blushing, then holds Julio writhing against him until he comes, too. 

And later, they use their mouths in addition to their hands, and it's ... _enlightening_. Beyond his expectation. His cries echo off the rocks, and when Julio teases him, he makes sure Julio's even louder. Then, after, Shatterstar presses his face against Julio's neck, mouth still tasting like him, and breathes deep and hard for a long time. Julio's hand sweeps over his back, comfortingly.

"I didn't bring you here _just_ for this," Julio says, fingers tracing a shoulder blade.

"I know," he replies, looking up at him, smiling, and understands he's been shown something precious. They sleep in that secret place together, in the cool night air, tangled up in blankets, and he allows himself to feel that nameless thing awakened in him, the one he suspects might be love.

**Author's Note:**

> Started: September 27, 2012. Finished: June 12, 2018. 
> 
> The story is a direct result of listening to Deadmau5's [Strobe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84TYi3FOMlU) on repeat. Hopefully now I can hear this song without being haunted by the mostly finished WIP sitting on my hard drive.


End file.
